THE A-HOLES PODCAST

"Who Gives a Shit?"

October 04, 2020 Cal Baxter and Tanner Boylan Season 3 Episode 52
THE A-HOLES PODCAST
"Who Gives a Shit?"
Show Notes Transcript

Cal and Tanner discuss the Presidential Debate trainwreck, Trump’s near death experience, the genius of Wilford Brimley, and their latest segment: “Who gives a shit?”

You are a racist. 


00:04

And you're a limousine liberal. 


00:06

If we met today, we would never be friends 


00:08

Who said we're friends now? 


00:09

you date teenagers. 


00:10

And you're going to die alone. 


00:11

I just threw up in my mouth. 


00:12

One word, my friend diarrhea, 


00:14

I'm going to kill myself. 


00:15

that would be a great start. 


00:16

**** *** 


00:16

You **** 


00:17

you're 


00:17

*** 


00:17

a rich ******* 


00:18

You're a bigger ******* 


00:21

My name is Cal Baxter and this is the * ***** podcast I'm here with. 


00:28

Well, I don't like that intro *** **** 


00:30

Yeah, I don't like it either. Let me try that again. 


00:31

No, it's calob mean that I'm like a guest. 


00:35

This is the 52nd episode of the ****** podcast Um Cal Baxter. 


00:40

And I'm Tanner Boylan. 


00:41

You are Tanner Boylan. 


00:43

And it's better 


00:44

Was that 


00:44

like 


00:44

better 


00:44

that, yeah? 


00:45

all right? Banner last weeks episode damn did we get a lot of Mail? 


00:50

A lot, not an not good Mail. 


00:52

No, it was hateful Mail and it really was surrounding our segment on Jerry Maren who is the last surviving Munchkin. 


01:02

I don't know can you call him a munchkin anymore 


01:03

Well, 


01:04

after the Mail 


01:04

that's 


01:04

that 


01:04

the thing. 


01:04

we got? 


01:05

So what happened was we got this cease and desist letter from a major New York City law firm from the Center for little people in Youngstown, OH. 


01:14

Yep, they ripped us a new one. 


01:15

God they ripped us an ******* is awful. 


01:20

It's not even funny because frankly, it looks like there they're pursuing some sort of an action against us. 


01:27

Well, So what happened was that Merrin kept referring to himself. As a Munchkin 


01:32

Yeah. 


01:32

now, who 


01:32

No. 


01:32

knew in 2020 that that was not a politically correct term? 


01:36

That little ****** really screwed us. 


01:38

That **** hole. 


01:39

He seemed pretty happy when he was here, but apparently when he got home he changed his mind. 


01:44

That little **** 


01:46

He's a little, you know. He is a little **** where you know we can never know we 


01:52

Now 


01:52

OK 


01:52

we can't 


01:53

we 


01:53

say that. 


01:53

should read we should read our our response to the letters 


01:59

Yeah. 


01:59

that we received. It's very serious. 


02:01

It is serious, so we want to make a public apology to the Center for little people in Youngstown, OH. About the comments we made regarding Jerry Maren an using the term Munchkin. 


02:15

And to be fair, we didn't. We really didn't mean it was all in good fun, but they 


02:21

Everything 


02:21

didn't 


02:21

we 


02:21

take 


02:21

say 


02:21

it that 


02:22

is 


02:22

way. 


02:22

in good fun, but you 


02:23

Yeah. 


02:23

know, sometimes you gotta make the apology and you gotta look, we gotta grow. 


02:27

We know 


02:28

We 


02:28

we've never we've never had this before. 


02:30

No. 


02:30

They really, they really went off on us 


02:32

No. 


02:32

an of course again. Once again we apologize. I'm going to read it right off the paper. We apologize to the Center for little people in Youngstown, OH, and to Jerry Maren. 


02:45

We really apologize to Jerry Maren. Let's move on. You know last week. Trump. Your president and vice president, former Vice President Biden had their first debate, an Oh my God, was that a *********** 


03:00

Yep. There's not much else to 


03:03

Now 


03:03

say 


03:04

we don't really 


03:04

it 


03:04

want to 


03:04

wasn't 


03:05

talk 


03:05

good, 


03:05

about it except 


03:05

no screw 


03:06

except 


03:06

it. 


03:07

yeah, it made me wonder if you put Trump and Biden in one of those octagons where they do like those MMA fights, what what do you think would go down? 


03:16

I think Trump would kick Biden right in the nuts and fight would be over. 


03:21

Yeah, 


03:21

And 


03:22

but I. 


03:22

buying the only thing Biden would do to try to defend himself, he would grab Trump's hair. 


03:25

Oh, and he's so fat look. The guy is so heavy when he goes down he's down. There's No 8 count. I mean he's not coming back up. I think Biden's kind of quick. I think he's kind of slinky. 


03:35

Yeah, yeah, I think Biden would fight just 


03:38

again. 


03:38

as dirty as Trump either way. 


03:39

One in the morning last night, you and I were calling each other and we were up all night talking about the fact that Donald J Trump and melania his wife. 


03:47

he 


03:47

they 


03:47

tested 


03:47

both 


03:48

positive 


03:48

tested 


03:48

for kovit. 


03:48

positive for 


03:49

He's 


03:49

Kovid 


03:49

got covid. 


03:49

and while we were doing this show we found out something else. 


03:52

What was that? 


03:53

Vet Trump was sent to Walter Reed, the hospital that treats presidents. You know. 


03:58

prostate issues 


03:58

The right is 


03:59

and. 


03:59

always saying that you elect Biden. You elect elect Kamala Harris, who I know you have a thing for. 


04:05

Yeah, she's Cute. 


04:06

Yeah, nobody 


04:06

She 


04:07

wants 


04:07

something. 


04:07

to hear you moan like that, Tanner. That was pretty gross. 


04:11

Is a little. It was a little creepy, but that's that's OK. 


04:13

So Tanner, we'd like to talk about a new segment we have here called the * ***** wishlist and the * ***** wishlist is all about celebrities that we hope to get on the show. 


04:27

Yep. 


04:30

Now I'm excited about 


04:31

What 


04:31

it. 


04:32

would it kill you to be emotionally invested in this? 


04:34

Now you know what it is. You know why I'm angry. 


04:38

I know why you're angry because it's the first celebrity that we want to talk about who we're dying given the show. And of course I'm talking about the Great Wilfred Brimley. 


04:47

he was supposed to be our celebrity guest coming up, but what happened? one word Steven. 


04:53

One word is all you need for that half brain Dimwit Steven, who works for us and were itching to have Brimley on the show, or a huge fan of cocoon. Even maybe a bigger fan of his his Quaker Oats work. 


05:07

We love 


05:08

In 


05:08

the Quaker Oats. 


05:09

Oh well, his commercial work is classic unprecedented. 


05:13

Now. And we were close to getting him until we put this in the hands of Steven And then what did we find out. 


05:23

Well, we found out that he never got through to Brimley's agent or manager or 


05:28

Never, 


05:28

attorney or 


05:29

never, 


05:29

anyone associated. 


05:29

even, never even tried. 


05:31

Yeah, I mean, Brimley Productions, I assume he's got a production company that's 


05:35

Yeah, who 


05:35

globally 


05:35

even knows? 


05:36

recognized. I don't know 


05:38

But 


05:38

anyway. 


05:38

Wilfred, you wanted to talk about, well, for just a couple of things, even 


05:41

Sure. 


05:41

though we'll never meet up 


05:43

Sure. 


05:43

whi. Was he on our list of most desired celebrities? He dropped out of high school. And he was a cowboy. 


05:51

Yeah, see Brimley was a man of the Earth. 


05:54

The man of Man of the dirt. 


05:56

Yeah, he's a man of the dirt never, never, classically educated, but God that guy had St smarts. 


06:02

He did any a hell of a hell of a commercial for Quaker Oats. 


06:07

you know, it's funny. You and I spent hours devising this Quaker oats kind of oat off where we're going to eat with Brimley in studio. Never going to happen. 


06:17

Remember the idea for and this was part Stephens idea and I actually liked it. The oat wrestling would get to 


06:25

Yeah. 


06:25

fill up a small backed up and we were going to have the wrestle off. 


06:32

Yeah, I wouldn't. You know, friendlies, an older guy. 


06:34

Yeah, 


06:34

I didn't 


06:35

he 


06:35

want 


06:35

went 


06:35

to give my heart attack 


06:35

well. 


06:36

but that 


06:36

I don't 


06:36

but. 


06:36

think we were going to have him in there, 


06:38

No 


06:38

so 


06:38

no 


06:38

we're 


06:38

no 


06:38

good. 


06:39

no no. I think a couple of our listeners, a couple of our Brimley fans were calling in and you know, they wanted to be part of that. Wrestle off. 


06:48

I was going to get my wife in there. 


06:50

She'd be great. 


06:51

She'd be great, but she fights dirty. 


06:53

Let's move on. So you and I are constantly on social media, media, cable, television 


07:00

Yep. 


07:00

streaming platforms, always looking for some good future guests for the * ***** podcast. So I'm on HBO Max the other day and I run across this movie which I've never seen before. I've never heard before. It's called Gone with the wind and it's a sprawling epic set against the backdrop of the Civil War. They got this 


07:20

Cool 


07:20

young gun, 


07:21

title 


07:21

oh, great title. Young guy named Clark Gable Handsome Devil. He is so kind of magnetic on the screen and I'm wondering if this is someone we could. 


07:30

Let's get him. 


07:31

I think it's someone we would like to get on a future podcast. 


07:34

I think he's really old. 


07:36

Well, he may be old now. I don't know when the movie was shot. It was in Glorious Technicolor. 


07:45

I have a feeling we could get him now. let's put it this way. I haven't heard too much about this guy in the past 10 years, 


07:52

No. 


07:52

so it sounds like a guest would be perfect for our podcast. 


07:55

He'd be great for us and Steven. I know you're listening in the other room putting this thing together. Let's get on. 


08:01

Steven's not listening to **** 


08:03

Well. 


08:03

he doesn't listen to our show. 


08:04

That's the problem actually, 


08:06

But that's 


08:06

but 


08:06

the problem. 


08:07

we will tell him after this episode is over to call Gables people. Then let's get that guy on. So our next guest on our wish list is. 


08:17

Boo. Burt Reynolds 


08:18

Oh God, he's great. 


08:20

Do you remember that movie that deliverance? 


08:22

the deliverance or deliverance as you're calling it, I think, came out about five years ago. I want to say in 05 oh 625 26. 


08:32

Yeah 


08:32

Wow. 


08:33

porn porn. Ned Beatty. 


08:35

So this guy got Ned Beatty, he gets lost in the Woods and you 


08:40

Yeah. 


08:40

know he's approached by these Appalachian types. 


08:44

What do you mean by that? Apple 


08:45

Well, 


08:45

agent types? 


08:46

trying to be politically correct. 


08:47

Woods people 


08:49

Woods 


08:49

Woods 


08:49

people, 


08:49

people. 


08:50

Woods people an there they see Ned Beatty and they find him 


08:55

Baby. 


08:55

someone 


08:55

**** 


08:55

attractive. 


08:58

But baby doesn't find them that attractive. 


09:00

No. 


09:00

Does he know? 


09:02

No. the sounds that come out of Beatty. During what's what's really unspeakable, I don't know. Even say on this podcast what 


09:10

No. 


09:10

happened, baby, can we? 


09:12

No, 


09:13

Well, I don't 


09:14


09:14

know if the. 


09:14

don't think we want. 


09:16

I don't know if the FCC 


09:17

I think 


09:17

overseas 


09:17

time 


09:18

what 


09:18

to 


09:18

we 


09:18

move 


09:18

say. 


09:18

on. Time to move 


09:20

Yeah, 


09:20

on. 


09:21

it's definitely 


09:21

Portland 


09:21

time to move 


09:22

will 


09:22

on. 


09:22

just leave it at poor. Ned Beatty. So Burt Reynolds. 


09:25

But 


09:25

I think we can. I think he's around again. Not a young guy, 


09:29

No, 


09:29

but would make a great guest. 


09:30

but the stories that Reynolds is going to talk about in a 


09:34

Yeah. 


09:34

future episode of the holes podcast is going to be there going to be precious. 


09:37

He's a, He's an icon, another another icon. 


09:40

Very iconic. Tanner, when it comes to Burt Reynolds, I know you're a fan and you're looking forward to him being on the show. What are some of your favorite Reynolds films? 


09:51

I'm dying to ask him about boogie nights. 


09:53

Call He's so good in boogie nights. 


09:57

I believe he was the character of Dirk Diggler. 


10:00

No, I think that was Mark Wahlberg. 


10:03

You sure he wasn't? Was he roller girl? 


10:06

No, I think that was. Heather 


10:09

Who, 


10:09

Graham 


10:09

who cares? He wishes great in that movie 


10:12

He was 


10:13

even 


10:13

great. 


10:13

though we don't know who he was. 


10:14

Now we don't know who he was, but I think there's a good shot 'cause we haven't seen Reynolds in a long time that we're going to get him on the ****** podcast. 


10:23

and then the 3rd guest. We just want to mention that's coming up next 


10:25

Now this 


10:25

month. 


10:26

one I'm excited for. 


10:26

Well, who wouldn't be excited for the great the legendary Burl Ives. 


10:33

most people don't know the name Burl Ives, he is the voice of Rudolph, the Red Nose reindeer 


10:40

Here's 


10:40

and 


10:41

a show that 


10:41

all 


10:41

came out 


10:41

the 


10:42

in 


10:42

associated 


10:42

the 60s. 


10:42

characters, yeah. 


10:43

Yeah, I mean. The voice of an Angel Number One. 


10:50

Number two, I mean this guy's Got Talent that you haven't seen since I don't know Sammy Davis Junior. 


10:56

An one fact that we found out after we booked him that we did not know prior to booking. He is an extremely wealthy guy 


11:08

Very 


11:08

from 


11:09

wealthy. 


11:09

from Rudolph. 


11:11

Yeah, I mean if you think about the number of times that this show is aired all over the world and the residuals that he's getting Ives is loaded. 


11:20

Low. That he's he is a not quite a billionaire, but from what I understand Multi 100 millionaire. 


11:28

Powerful man. 


11:30

Just from just from Rudolph. 


11:31

Yeah, You know just to move on. We have a new segment that I'm really excited about. I know you're really excited about 


11:38

Not 


11:39

and 


11:39

really, 


11:39

the listeners well. 


11:40

this was this was. I mean, this was your idea. I'm not. 


11:43

It was 


11:43

I'm not 


11:44

my 


11:44

that 


11:44

idea, 


11:44

just. 


11:44

but I think at the end of the day this is a segment that's going to work and I think it's going to be entertaining to our listeners. And it's called who gives a **** 


11:53

Yep. Yep. 


11:54

Why don't you tell us this very, very compelling story? 


11:58

Jessica Alba. 


11:59

Big fan. 


12:00

Who got her start on Beverly Hills 90210 is now revealed that during the filming of Beverly Hills 90210, which was 20 years ago, she said, and I quote I couldn't even make eye contact with any of the cast members, which was really strange. When you were like trying to do a scene with them. 


12:21

I'm not apparently this was a big a big disappointment in her life that she could not make eye contact with them. And now that she's got her billion dollar or what is it? The Honest Company. 


12:32

Well 


12:32


12:32

before you 


12:32

don't 


12:32

say 


12:33

think 


12:33

that, I 


12:33

she 


12:33

mean can 


12:33

gives a 


12:33

I? 


12:33

**** 


12:34

Can I just reply to that story? 


12:36

Sure, sure, 


12:37

Who get 


12:37

tell us what you think. 


12:38

who gives a **** so stupid. 


12:41

I don't know why she gives a **** 


12:43


12:43

and yet 


12:43

think celebrities. 


12:43

she's been all over talking about 


12:45


12:45

this. 


12:45

think celebrities are in constant need of sympathy, that's why. 


12:51

Yeah yeah, I'm sympathetic to her. I'm sure it was traumatic at the time, but today, why does she really know? I don't think she gives a **** 


12:59

Now 


12:59


12:59

we 


12:59

don't think she does. 


13:00

maybe she doesn't and we certainly don't give a **** but I will tell you now you. 


13:04

I don't even see that's the problem. Why did we even include this? 


13:08

I don't 


13:08

This 


13:08

know. 


13:08

is your idea for a segment, and it doesn't make any 


13:12

Here's 


13:12

sense. 


13:12

what I want to know. Who is got more? Coyne Burl Ives or Jessica Alba? 


13:19

Oh, that may be a tough one. 


13:21

Yeah, 


13:21

That's 


13:22

she's 


13:22


13:22

got 


13:22

That's 


13:22

that 


13:22


13:22

honest 


13:22

battle 


13:23

company. 


13:23

of the Titans. 


13:23

Yeah, now I'm more of a more of a group guy. 


13:27

Yeah, I could see that you have a very you're very soft skin. 


13:34


13:34

Very 


13:34

take that 


13:34

soft 


13:34

as a compliment. 


13:34

skin. 


13:35

I take that 


13:35

Yeah, 


13:35

as a compliment. 


13:36

yeah. 


13:36

Thank you. 


13:37

I've I've rough skin but 


13:39

Oh 


13:39

I don't 


13:39

yeah. 


13:39

really. Again, I don't give a **** 


13:41

Right, I would say I would call your skin course. 


13:45

Yep, Yep. 


13:47

Tenor, as you know at the ****** podcast we receive thousands of fan, email and letters per week. 


13:55

Well, maybe maybe maybe hundreds, 


13:58

Well, maybe hundreds. 


13:58

maybe 10 


14:00

OK. 


14:00

now. 


14:01

But occasionally we like to read one on the air. 


14:05

This comes from Mary Fitzsimmons from Weston, Weston, and she says dear Callan Tanner, my name is Mary Fitz emits a big fan of the show 


14:17

Yep. 


14:17

and I was wondering if I could come into the studio and meet you. There's 


14:22

Hum. 


14:23

more in the letter, but that was the Gist of it. 


14:25

Now 


14:25

That's 


14:26

I know 


14:26

the part 


14:26

our gut 


14:26

that I. 


14:26

reaction to that is always no. 


14:28

But then we saw the pictures. 


14:29

Then 


14:30

She 


14:30

we saw the pictures. 


14:32

just again, Mary included some pictures and a little biographical information. She's 34 years old 


14:38

Yeah. 


14:38

and a fitness. What would you call her 


14:42

Well, 


14:42

a? 


14:42

um, you 


14:42

She's 


14:43

called her 


14:43

into fitness. 


14:44

you called her an underwear model. 


14:46

Jenna door model, 


14:47

Don't 


14:47

but 


14:47

know. 


14:47

she is into fitness and some of the pictures were more revealing than others. We appreciated all of them 


14:55

Here's 


14:55

equally. 


14:55

what I did not appreciate 


14:57

The 


14:57

when 


14:57

Palatine 


14:58

you. Well, no, I did not appreciate 


15:00

She 


15:00

when you 


15:01

she. 


15:01

turn to me when you turn to me in the studio and said at this after we open other pictures you turned to me in the studio and said, can you please leave for two minutes? 


15:10

I did not say that 


15:12

Well, that's 


15:12

I took 


15:12

that's 


15:12

no. 


15:13

my recollection. 


15:13

I had the pictures in the comfort of my own home, but I'll tell you, we both agreed that she's void the warranty on her palate and 


15:21

Oh 


15:21

she sent us a few of those little video files an that Pellaton is just she's just wrecked it forever 


15:29

Well, I know 


15:30

an. 


15:30

you follow her now on Tick Tock. 


15:31

I do and she's gotta stop the tick tocks are Terrable Gangnam Style in a in a bikini and whatever she was doing it's 


15:41

She's flexibel though 


15:41

she 


15:41

you gotta give her that. 


15:43

we get sweep some weird. Seriously, we have some weird listeners. She's either going to come on to the show and marry us where she's going to kill us both as we leave the studio 


15:54

It's 


15:54

and 


15:54

an either 


15:55

I'm 


15:55

or. 


15:55

not sure which. 


15:56

It's an either or scenario, but in any event, you know Mary sort of want us over. I will not. I do not appreciate the fact that you object to fire even though 


16:05

No 


16:05

I just did. 


16:05

idea was objectifying or we agreed to meet her, but not 


16:08

We 


16:08

in the studio because the studio is closed to visitors. So we agreed to meet her at Fika, 


16:14

Yes. 


16:14

our favorite coffee shop. 


16:15

Yes, we are going to meet her at the coffee shop next week and we're going to record that session. So we're going to 


16:21

And 


16:21

tell 


16:21

we're 


16:21

everyone 


16:22

going to 


16:22

about 


16:22

bring 


16:22

it. 


16:22

and we're going to bring Steven for security 


16:24

Yes. 


16:24

because we think she may try to slit our throats. 


16:27

We have no idea what's going to happen, so. 


16:29

Well, you know we shouldn't use her, we get we're gonna get another letter we we 


16:33

I don't 


16:34

agreed. 


16:34

know why 


16:34

We 


16:34

I find. 


16:34

work in the user 


16:35


16:35

last 


16:36

find 


16:36

name. 


16:36

something about Mary Seductive. Compelling. 


16:40

That's you know what I think you're going to meet her and figure. 


16:42

Well, between the two of us, I'm the single one, so. 


16:46

Yeah, you should go meet her 


16:47

Alright, 


16:47

'cause she's 


16:48

well. 


16:48

definitely going to kill you. 


16:49

OK, well we'll see what happens with Mary. 


16:52

Alright. 


16:53

But we know there's something about her. 


16:55

It's gonna be bad you're gonna die. 


16:59

OK. 


17:00

so last week we get a phone call from one of our one of our game show. Really, I'd call him a game show crushing away. 


17:07

He is he 


17:08

Mr 


17:08

is. 


17:09

Gene Rayburn. 


17:11

Yep. 


17:11

So gene is hosting a new show called match game. And I think he's taking some sort of sabbatical of some sort, and he's actually asked 


17:19

That's 


17:19

us. 


17:19

how I feel about it. 


17:20

Well, come on. I mean he's 


17:22


17:22

asked us 


17:22

got. 


17:22

to cohost. A week of match game. 


17:27

We're not going to. 


17:29

Don't you want to do 


17:29

Do 


17:29

it? 


17:29

you really want to go? 


17:30

I want to do it. I want 


17:33

We're 


17:33

to do 


17:33

not 


17:33

it. 


17:33

getting. We're not getting paid. 


17:35

No, no, we're not. We're doing it for gene. 


17:37

I know, but he got. I don't think I have it in me. 


17:43

Yeah. 


17:44

I gotta be honest, I don't think I have it in me. I know you're excited to do this, but it's it's and I know it's for charity. 


17:50

Oh yeah. 


17:51

But I don't think I have it in me. 


17:54

All proceeds that we would have been paid to host match game for a week is going to go to the center. 


18:03


18:04

Little 


18:04

know 


18:04

people 


18:04

this is This 


18:05

and 


18:05

is 


18:05

Youngstown, 


18:06

why 


18:06

OH. 


18:06

I'm Yep and This is why I am so freaking not jazz to do this. 


18:12

So Tanner, before we wrap things up, I 


18:15

Yep. 


18:16

do want to let our listeners know that next month in November is sweeps week very important month for us. And we've got news. 


18:25

We We have, yeah, this is actually big news. 


18:28

This is big. 


18:28

We are going to be in London at our London affiliate for sweeps week an. Depending on how this goes we could be bumped up into a much higher bracket. 


18:44

Yeah. The Ailes podcast next month in November is going to be broadcasting exclusively from Abbey Road Studios in London, and boy, are we excited? 


18:54

Which I don't know if people know, but that was where you're going to be in the exact studio where The Beatles recorded. 


19:01

It's unbelievable and we've got a whole list which we're going to reveal next week of some of the British guests we're going to have an we are. I mean, I can't wait. this is going to cost us a fortune being in London for the week, but you know, we do it. We do it for fans. 


19:19

Well, 


19:19

Let's face 


19:20

we did 


19:20

it. 


19:20

and we do it for ourselves. 


19:22

No, 


19:22

Let's 


19:22

yeah, we 


19:23

be 


19:23

pretty 


19:23

honest, 


19:23

much 


19:23

I mean we. 


19:24

pretty much do it for ourselves. And Speaking of ourselves. That wraps up another episode of the ****** podcast. 


19:32

Now get the **** out of our podcast.